“8 Second Diaper Changes…

and other sanity saving tips for raising multiples”

  By Troy White - father of Hailey and Katrina

DANCE: Learn to enjoy the beat of the music and the flow of the dance.  Who cares if you don’t look good while doing it or if others don’t like the music – so what?  In the first years of life there is no consideration that “if I don’t look good while doing this I wont do it”.  They just don’t care – and they are a lot happier than adults are – right?

DISCIPLINE:  Sometime the threat of losing an important possession is the best motivator.  Some people will hate me for saying this…I mean…you shouldn’t treat children that way – threaten to take things away – right?  In my eyes wrong.  Think about it logically here, in life things get taken away from you if you do not play by the rules – right?  You break the law…your freedom gets taken away (jail time, lost license, criminal record etc). It applies to almost every situation…jobs…relationships…life…health…think about it.  So teaching them that rule is not a bad thing.  Maybe a hard thing to do but not a bad thing.

DISTRACTIONS:  Distractions are powerful – One day I saw the girls doing this and learned a quick lesson about life and business.  Katrina had a toy which Hailey obviously wanted but could not get. So Hailey goes out and finds a better toy and starts playing with it in front of Katrina.  Well you can guess what happened next – Katrina dropped hers for the other and Hailey got the toy she originally went after – everyone is happy.

DRESSING:  Let them strip down their clothes!  Run naked.  Why not!  They enjoy it and it helps with potty training also.  The challenge is to keep the clothes on when we go out to other people’s places.  And it’s okay to wear stripes with plaids, white after Labor Day and pajama’s all day long.  Let them distinguish themselves as they desire.   We always have people asking if we dress them alike.  We don’t initially but sometimes they want to wear the same things and people tend to always buy 2 of the same outfit for our girls therefore we just happen to always have 2 of the same thing. 

DUCT TAPE: A twin parents best friend!  It could be if you need to keep that cupboard closed and no locks will work.  Or if that the little rascal just keeps pulling off that diaper and you have not found anything else that would work.

EVERY DAY:  Make every day count!  You are blessed with multiples and you should enjoy what a small percentage of the parents out there has.  People come up to you with a sympathetic look in their eyes with the “double trouble” type of comment and you get to laugh at them. Not for the reason they think but for the fact you get double the fun, double the laughs, double the hugs, double the kisses – and it way more than outweighs the double tears.

EXERCISE: One of the biggest benefits of having twins is you almost evoke that gym membership as there will be days that you are constantly moving 24/7.  When babies are in their car seats – you get the advantage of carrying pounds of weight on both arms.  I constantly was carrying the two car seats everywhere and if you have a backpack on – your all set to go!

FIGHTING:  We see a lot of this.  Hitting, biting, pulling hair etc.  Sometimes, you just have to let them battle them out and of course sometimes you need to interfere. We have tried everything – timeouts, separation and spanking.  And sometimes, none of it works. 

FOOD: When preparing food or drinks for your twins make sure that both meals are ready to hand over at the same time.  If they aren’t – look out ! You are asking for some screams!

Make your own baby food!  Instead of buying those expensive jars of baby food – consider making it instead.  Every Sunday my wife would spend in the kitchen brewing up different batches of baby food and the freeze it in ice cude trays and the girls soon ended up with a stock of different foods for them to try.  All you need to do is get out that food processor you received as a wedding gift.  Anything you make for yourself can easily be chopped up as food.  Be careful with nuts etc., as many children can be allergic.

As your kids get older, it’s okay to always have ketchup, mustard and cheese on everything.  Just getting them to eat can be an accomplishment. 

HUGS: Enjoy the hugs!  There will be a day when they are in their teens and want nothing to do with you so enjoy it now.  Those double hugs are the best! Enjoy.

IDENTITY:  Our one daughter Hailey constantly calls her sister “Hailey Bear” – a term we have coined her.  We are constantly trying to re-correct her to say Katrina but are continually failing.  They do see each other as each other.  One will look in the mirror and say the other’s name.  It doesn’t really bother us.  They will soon grow and know themselves.  We are starting to really try and separate them but they don’t like it.  I’ll take one out with me and my wife states the other one just cries for her sister.  So, I don’t see forcing the separation.  I am in constant amazement of what a special bond these two have and feel blessed to be a part of  it.

LAUGHTER:  Make a tape recording of when they are playing and laughing. Keep adding to it – get 15 seconds her a minute there etc. Next thing you know you have an awesome picker upper for yourself or your family and friends. Never fails – listen to this and you will always feel better no matter what is happening in your life!  Try it.  The sound of laughter is magic so stop to enjoy this sound when you have the chance.  My wife always gets these looks of pity on trying to raise the girls.  I mean, all children can be difficult.  But, she always answers the same – yes it can be difficult but I also laugh more in one day than I ever did before children.

LEGACY:  Pick a legacy you would like to leave to your kids.  I know this is not exactly a nice thought that you wouldn’t be around but it will happen. What is the most important skill, or character trait etc you would like to leave ? Tough question but if you figure it out early then you can guarantee that your kids will be raised that way.

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(c) 2005 Troy D White All rights reserved :: 403.259.4566